Sunday, September 9, 2012

25 Gaming Experiences You Must Have Before You Die - Part XIII: Turok: Dinosaur Hunter



Turok: Dinosaur Hunter (N64, 1997)

Why You Should Play It
There have been as many arguments about which games should be considered history's greatest as there are stars is the sky. But few genres top such arguments as frequently as first person shooters.

Thursday, August 30, 2012

25 Gaming Experiences You Must Have Before You Die - Part XII: Final Fantasy VII


Final Fantasy VII (PSOne, 1997)

Why You Should Play It
A week from today will mark fifteen years since Final Fantasy VII hit North American store shelves. Yeah, that's right. 15 years. Think about that for a second, grandpa.


Wednesday, August 29, 2012

25 Gaming Experiences You Must Have Before You Die - Part XI: Panzer Dragoon


Panzer Dragoon (Saturn, 1995)
Panzer Dragoon Zwei (Saturn, 1996)
Panzer Dragoon Saga (Saturn, 1998)

Why You Should Play It
Sega fans had a rough time of things from the mid-90s to the early 2000s. Two more or less failed hardware ventures, a series of big-budget titles that pulled in less than stellar returns, new-found competition in the 32-bit wunderkind, the Sony Playstation, and several vicious betrayals against their own fans eventually cost Sega its bid in the hardware business.

Saturday, August 4, 2012

The Modern Peasant's Guide to Life and Eating: Chapter 2

Well, there's still plenty of Bender Soup to be had; however, variety, eh? It's kinda good for most, absolutely necessary for some. So, it's been over a week since my return home, and my boyfriend has finally returned the last of the money he temporarily removed from my account—one of his many attempts to manipulate my home-coming.

Tuesday, May 29, 2012

25 Gaming Experiences You Must Have Before You Die - Part X: Donkey Kong Country Trilogy


Donkey Kong Country (SNES, 1994)
Donkey Kong Country 2: Diddy's Kong Quest (SNES, 1995)
Donkey Kong Country 3: Dixie Kong's Double Trouble (SNES, 1996)

Why You Should Play It
Donkey Kong Country is one of those games both kids and magazines loved back in the day.

Monday, May 28, 2012

25 Gaming Experiences You Must Have Before You Die - Part IX: Super Motherfuckin' Metroid


Super Motherfuckin' Metroid (SNES, 1994)

Why You Should Play It
What can be said about Super Metroid that hasn't already been said a thousand times?

Sunday, May 27, 2012

25 Gaming Experiences You Must Have Before You Die - Part VIII: Gunstar Heroes



Gunstar Heroes (Genesis, 1993)

Why You Should Play It
Founded by former Konami programmers in the early 90s, Treasure is a very peculiar company that has spawned some of the most brilliant and inventive games ever to grace the industry.

Friday, May 25, 2012

25 Gaming Experiences You Must Have Before You Die - Part VII: Another World

Another World (Amiga, 1991)
 
 Why You Should Play It
Thanks in part to a recent flame war between Roger Ebert and the entire gaming community, there’s been a lot of talk and reassessment in regards to games being considered art lately.

Wednesday, May 23, 2012

25 Gaming Experiences You Must Have Before You Die - Part VI: SNES Square RPG Trilogy

Final Fantasy IV (SNES - 1991)
Final Fantasy VI (SNES - 1994)
Chrono Trigger (SNES - 1995) 

Why You Should Play It
For a few years in the mid-to-late 90s, Squaresoft ruled the world. They didn't really—in fact, Square's grasp on the industry was rather tenuous, but to the JRPG fan coming of age at the time, it certainly seemed that way.

Tuesday, May 22, 2012

5 Things I Hear a Lot About on Facebook That I Couldn't Give Less of a Fuck About If I Got a Degree in Not Giving a Fuck

#5. Game of Thrones
















You know what I think about Danaerys? I'd like to mash Danaerys up into a pulpy ball and shove it up my ass just so I can shit it out immediately thereafter.

Saturday, April 28, 2012

25 Gaming Experiences You Must Have Before You Die - Part V: Mega Man 2 & 3



Mega Man 2 (NES, 1988)
Mega Man 3 (NES, 1990)

Why You Should Play It
I was somewhat trepidatious about having Mega Man on this list. Of the five 8-bit era games/series I've chosen for this piece, Mega Man is the closest to Mario and Zelda levels of popularity.

25 Gaming Experiences You Must Have Before You Die - Part IV: The NES Ninja Gaiden Trilogy



Ninja Gaiden (NES, 1988)
Ninja Gaiden II: The Dark Sword of Chaos (NES, 1990)
Ninja Gaiden III: The Ancient Ship of Doom (NES, 1991)

Why You Should Play It
Ninja Gaiden is a lot more important than initially apparent.

25 Gaming Experiences You Must Have Before You Die - Part III: The MSX Metal Gears


Metal Gear (MSX, 1987)
Metal Gear 2: Solid Snake (MSX, 1990)

Why You Should Play It
As you can see, Konami was a major player in the development of the games industry in the early years after the Atari Crash in 1983.

25 Gaming Experiences You Must Have Before You Die - Part II: Ys Book I & II


Ys: Ancient Ys Vanished (Various, 1987)
Ys: Ancient Ys Vanished – The Final Chapter (Various, 1988)

Why You Should Play It
I'm willing to bet that unless you're a particularly snooty gamer, you've never heard of Ys before.

Saturday, March 31, 2012

25 Gaming Experiences You Must Have Before You Die - Part I: The NES Castlevania Trilogy

A wise man named Del the Funky Homosapien once said, "Video games. I got many to play, before my life expires; fulfill my desires." 

So you've come a long way on your gaming journey, but you feel like you're missing out on something crucial, or maybe you've been wearing horse-blinkers and focusing entirely too much on a single or small sampling of genres for much of your life and you're ready to broaden your horizons? Or maybe you're a hip, younger gamer, self-consciously aware of the backward-looking glance of the trending experience of retro-gaming right now and you feel like it's necessary to complete your journey as a more well-rounded gamer by looking into the paramount titles of the past.

Saturday, January 21, 2012

The Modern Peasant's Guide to Life and Eating: Chapter 1

Every four years or so, the shit hits the fan. I'm not proud of this, or anything. However, for reasons seemingly outside of my control, four years of relatively healthy and productive living are squandered, defiled, and transformed into so much fecal matter that gets sent spraying across the room. I don't know why I do it. I can't afford basic health services—So who can say? All I can do is observe and narrate the very real pathology and the damage it leaves in its wake.

Saturday, January 7, 2012

My favorite stuff of 2011 - Part V

2011 Game #5 - Raymon: Origins
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Before it came out, Rayman: Origins was billed as one of those "throwback" games that have a retro appeal. Well, there's nothing retro about Rayman: Origins. It is nothing like the platformers we played as kids. The only artifice of oldschool platforming present is the number of explorable dimensions. Everything about Rayman: Origins exudes personality. Every moment is completely unique. It's a platformer, sure, but it uses contemporary ideas and sensibilities to create something that bridges the gap between oldschool and modern gaming, a gap that isn't as huge as we sometimes think it is.

Friday, January 6, 2012

My favorite stuff of 2011 - Part IV

2011 Game #10 – The Legend of Zelda: Skyward Sword
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Skyward Sword is the worst console Zelda game yet. Which means, it’s still a pretty damn good game, but there are some glaring problems that “It’s Zelda” isn’t enough of an explanation for me to gloss over anymore. Like, how come the game has to describe what a Monster Claw, an Amber Relic, and every other piece of trash I pick up is every time I restart the game after turning my Wii off, then bring up a menu showing me how many I have now? And what genius thought up breakable shields and the stamina gauge? Because that’s been my longest standing complaint of the Zelda series: that the shields don’t break and Link runs for longer durations than I can. Nitpickery aside, the clouds hanging over Skyward Sword do occasionally break and you get a glimpse of the kind of brilliance we saw in Zeldas of old (just about every moment of the Lanayru region is pure magic), but something needs to happen for Zelda soon or the magic isn’t going to override the stagnation underneath anymore.

Thursday, January 5, 2012

My favorite stuff of 2011 - Part III

2011 Game #15 - From Dust
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Two facts about me: 1. Another World is one of my favorite games ever. 2. I am not at all a fan of God-games/sims/whatever you want to call them. So you can imagine my elation and ensuing disappointment when the announcement came that Eric Chahi was coming out of over a decade of silence in the game industry... to do a God-game. Nevertheless, my faith in Eric Chahi led me to From Dust, and I ended up enjoying it quite a bit. My ignorance in this field may indicate that I only enjoyed From Dust because it's accessible and has a pedigree, and that there are much better games out there in the same vein, but alas, I am a simple creature with simple desires.

Tuesday, January 3, 2012

My favorite stuff of 2011 - Part II

2011 Game #20 - Okamiden
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I went into Okamiden with a healthy amount of skepticism. The PS2 masterpiece from five years prior left a pedigree that I wasn't sure this new pup would live up to, and while I was unsurprisingly underwhelmed with the first few minutes of Okamiden, I eventually came to accept its identity. Okamiden is the Phantom Hourglass or Spirit Tracks to Okami's Twilight Princess. It takes a big, epic idea that deserves to be presented with all the glory of every bit of processing power current generation hardware can spew forth, and unleashes it in an environment that's several generations behind. The fact that Okamiden still comes out on top as a great game is a testament to Okami's greatness, but even at best, Okamiden will do little more than make you want to play the original again.

Monday, January 2, 2012

My favorite stuff of 2011 - Part I














It's that time again. Yes, it's time to hear me wax on about how awesome my opinion is. 2011 was an eventful year... full of... events... that happened. There was also lots of media, and out of that stuff, this is what I liked the most.